When work and values collide
(and what you can do about it)
We were told when we were little that with enough hard work, education, and grit we could do amazing things.
You worked really hard | You climbed and then you climbed a little more | You got busy | You got tired | Bills, mortgage, rent, daycare, and summer camps.
And then one day you looked up and you didn't even really know how it had been this long and that you were in a place you never intended to be. But you had also changed.
The things you believe in. Where you want to spend your time. What do you want to do with this one life? It had all changed and suddenly working 80 hours a week wasn't that thing anymore.
Even worse - there were things that you had seen at work...things that had been asked of you that made you feel...not great and really not in step with who you were as a person or with your values.
This realization, this feeling, can feel earth-shattering, disruptive, and like it is going to swallow you whole.
I know this because I lived this. It is one of the reasons I ended up working for myself and continue to work for myself. It is one of the reasons I started my company Moms at Work.
So what can you do about it? (yes other than crying)
There are 3 things that have helped incredibly:
- I ask myself these 6 questions every 3 months about my work. If I don't I get easily distracted and just caught up in the project I am working on
- What is the purpose of your work?
- What drives you?
- What matters to you?
- What do you hope to create in the world?
- How do these show up in your work?
- How can you have it show up more?
2. Bring in supports
Career supports are incredibly difficult to find. Coaching might not be enough, networking surely won't help you sort through this maze of emotions. Networks like the Collective (Moms at Work in person and online community) where women are brave enough to be vulnerable and strong enough to ask for help and are met with kindness, support, and connections to help them move towards something so much more than where they are now.
3. That feeling of being stuck
I felt this feeling so deeply that I created a workbook to help you move towards unstuck. It is free and my goal is to help you work through the first parts of that feeling. You can grab a copy of it here
The final thing I will leave with you is this. Change feels really hard in the moment and can be incredibly painful. Change can take time. Take brain space and power you didn't know you had. But it is worth it. Every. Single. Time. It is worth it. I promise.