These 4 words will change your life

I never realized how much I felt the need to make excuses for my choices. Why I ran my own business. Why I had 3 kids. Why I do all sorts of things.

This is what it sounded like –

PERSON A: Wow you seem like you are working so hard – maybe you should slow down and just take time for your kids!

ME: Yeah I really enjoy the time I spend with my kids. My work fulfills me. I like that I have something just for me (blah blah blah)

When the pandemic hit suddenly EVERYONE seemed to want to know what EVERYONE else was doing (even people I don’t know)

Are you sending your kids to school?


Why not?

Is your business still making money?

You should stop working – you should focus on your kids – wouldn’t that feel better?

And then in a small fitful rage I picked out 4 little words that have changed my life IMMEASURABLY

I Dont Want To Christopher Walken GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY


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Here are some fun examples

A: Wow you seem like you are really busy at work – are you going to take time off?

Me: Nope. I don’t want to.

Example 2

A: Are you planning for October?

Me: Nope. I don’t want to.

Example 3:

A: Hey – how are you managing work + kids – isn’t part of working for yourself so that you can stop whenever you want?

Me: (REALLY WANT TO INSERT FEMINIST RANT HERE) but instead I say – nope I am working because I want to.

As women we are programmed to explain ourselves and to apologize. I guarantee that if you track it on any single day you will do it more than a few times

But you don’t need to. You don’t owe the world any explanation. And that my friends is…..(and I'm going to let Jeff Goldblum do this)


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Allison Venditti is a Career Coach, Founder of Moms at Work and advocate. She is now a mom to 3 little boys, winter biker and Star Wars superfan. She was voted top 50 Changemakers by the Globe and Mail and regularly consults and coaches both individuals and companies.

Moms at Work is Canada's only organization committed to supporting working mothers. We provide career coaching, courses and our Collective community group where we help you build the network you always needed. We are a business committed to making a difference in the world.

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